2008-08-13

Bessies Once More???

Lau and I

A year ago I wrote a blog entitled "Bessies No More"; an entry about a flop on my 8-year relationship with my best friend, Laureen. From then on we've become one of the best enemies just like how we started, swearing to myself that I would never be friends with her ever again.

I was deeply hurt by how things turned out to be, but at the time was relieved that at least, I realized things before it got worst. I hate that she was such a drama queen and how she reacted with such situations, leaving me feel like what we had was just a mother f*cking lie.

Last December I was surprised when she IMed me to greet a Merry Christmas, which I unselfishly greeted back. I mean, it was just a holiday greeting and to me it meant nothing. But a few days ago I was as shocked when she YMed me again to said hello, and then the conversation goes on:

Thursday, 7 August, 2008
Laureen (12:05): hi
Jhack (12:05): hello
Jhack (12:05): aba nabuhay ka?
Laureen (12:06): hehe..oo nga eh..nagpakasal na kc c mau..saka dami ko din gngwa sa work..aun..
Jhack (12:12): so how's life?
Laureen (12:12): life?well..going smoothly confusing
Laureen (12:12): hehe..i dnt know..
Jhack (12:13): ah.. where are you working now?
Laureen (12:13): Sykes
Laureen (12:13): ikaw dun pa din ba?
Jhack (12:13): yep
Laureen (12:17): bwt before..sorry ah!
Laureen (12:18): ayko na icpn un
Jhack (12:18): i know how to control myself now
Jhack (12:18): wala yun ano ka ba!
Jhack (12:18): let's forget about it so we can move on
Jhack (12:18): and start all over..
Jhack (12:18): let's see if things will be alright
Laureen (12:18): and im fully amendable to that
Jhack (12:18): and siguro ok na rin muna yung ganito
Laureen (12:19): im sure it will be alryt
Laureen (12:19): yeah..i guess..
Jhack (12:19): at least we've overcome one another's drama..
Laureen (12:19): i was wrong and i admit it!
Jhack (12:19): forget it lau..
Laureen (12:19): hihi..yeah..
Jhack (12:19): we both made a mistake and i know we're both sorry for that
Laureen (12:19): okei

Right then I knew the wounds are healing, but we weren't back into each other's lives... well, at least for now. Don't get me wrong, forgiving someone, especially those who have played a big part on your life was never easy. But time heals all wounds and along with growing old, we learn to suck up all the drama and just decide to move on... after all, it's been a year already since the drama started!

So are we Bessies Once More? No. But just for the record, the drama was over (for now =p) and both have decided to start over and be Just Friends.







--
"When you lie, Be Consistent. (="

13 shout outs:

AL Chavez said...

Sometimes one can't help but question the value of human relationships. True enough a large investment must be made to start and sustain even just one that, upon more thought, is it even worth it? In this world, it's all about give & take and you'd like to think that, in the long run, you'll be on the receiving end... but you find yourself bearing little or no profit from it at all.

I know there are walls behind us now and by all means we just cant crush it by pushing it hard and breaking it with bear hands. But jhack, I just want you to know that This is ME.. the most purest and honest laying her cards on you.. This is not about guilt tripping. But a decision I have made a long time ago..to just settle things over. I want nothing more than you could give me and I was sincere when I said Im happy that we managed to end the drama from before. Its nice having the thought of having you AGAIN now as a friend and letting the whole relationship depends on FATE alone.

Knowing when & how to let go... completely. Choosing to live without the excess baggage. And with that thought, it isn't so sad after all.

Jhack said...

I just wish one thing for this settlement of ours - that this time, we'll stay REAL with each other. I know (I hope) you know what I like and didn't like about someone and I hope that we'll be just our human self. I don't want no dramas anymore and whatever comes out of our own mouth, may we learn to assess things first before shouting a reply.

AL Chavez said...

Huh? Did i say something wrong? Have I said or do something that make you feel less good about this settlement thing? My comments are all meant in a good way. Its true that we both got hurt from that and moved on right after. I am real. I have been real since the day you met me. I guess you could say that every person's actions or words are sound, to a certain extent. People are, after all, simply product of their experiences & the choices they make in life... and though we can totally blame them for making really stupid decisions, we can't deny the fact that sometimes, shit just happens, which may render, even the best of us, absolutely incompetent, helpless, and maybe even empty.

Jhack said...

we both know we did and said something against each other. but what i'm trying to point out is that as young adults, and as being "friends" for 9 years, may we learn to dig deep through each other's own "drama" (if you know what i mean). i just want someone who is real, someone who is dares to be unique... and you should know what i mean of this... after all, i know we both hate what-i'm-talking-about. (=

AL Chavez said...

Thank You!

AL Chavez said...

I know every single opinions are welcome in your blog..So lemme just tell you something. First of all, reading your replies gave me an idea that you're still mad (or you're up for something?). Why? Cuz even if you deny it, we could've settled this in a nice way like "oh yeah, cmon past is past, we are frends..but not like before blah blah.." Then I would be relieved. I was absolutely like that and I was really expecting to get that also from you. but what did i get? sarcasm and bitterness.. look, as what ive said before..Yes, i did messaged u becoz i just want to settle things over and done..not just for myself or any other agenda..but becoz i value our frendship.and i value you. yes, we have grown old.. but jhack, i have grown old too and i have outgrown these nonsense and i have no idea what to think why does the situation's flow have to be like these? are we back there? as plain frends only..? or are you just saying all of these becoz there is still something in YOU that you would want to throw in my face and at my conscience? I have tried various ways to make this work and i guess i have done my part very well.

ayoko ng magsalita ng kahit ano. kc ayko pangunahan ang sitwasyon.. But u know wut.. I know wuts up and i know wutz not.. everything's noted. and for the record, naging totoo ako sa pakikipag ayos. THIS IS NO DRAMA! This are just opinions and disappointments (on my part).. This wud be the last time na makakakrinig ka nito skn Thank you dahil kht papno nakapagusap tau ng maayos. And thats about it. Ive no regrets and I know i didnt just pretend to be REAL but I dare to be JUST ME!

Jhack said...

you know what's up? well, there are times that we outlook something because we thought we are that someone being mentioned in the entry. i presume you know what i am talking about and i am not playing games here. as i have said before, "whatever comes out of our own mouth, may we learn to assess things first before shouting a reply." yes, i do have blog entries about you-know-what but why does it always seem like you're affected?

i am glad that the DRAMA is over and you think i will make peace with you if i still didn't feel you? i'm not stupid lau and i will not waste my precious time arguing with someone that i know will be pointless.

does my word get to you? sorry. but let me tell you this: this is how i speak and as i am trying to understand your sayings, or your blog per se, i hope you get to read my entries between the lines. we're not the only people in this world lau so don't pressure yourself by keeping on answering my blogs.

being friends with you AGAIN is great but as i said, i hope this time, we've already known each other better than before.

yes, wounds are STILL healing so don't expect things will be alright in an instant. now that we are starting a new chapter in our so-called Friendship, i want to take things slow, let all wounds heal on its own and in its own time. when it happened, trust me, things will be as better as it was before. and fyi, i am not up to something if that's what you're thinking.

there are other b*tches i wanna smash in the face with so chill lau. we're not getting there again.

AL Chavez said...

Which blog are you talking about? Im not reading or commenting any blog from yours. Im not affected with your blogs..or new posts.. the only thing that matters to me is YES on how you speak to me..and how does this conversation is going. I dont have a SAY in any of your blogs. My concern is every little detail that comes from your mouth. Yes it hurts me like hell. Cuz i was like, being nice and moving forward for the best..and then you're most certainly sure you are being true yet you try to lecture me with life? Jhack, im not pushing it hard for us to be good frends agen or even trying to heal the wounds in an instant.. My side is, if you have problems with other b*tches as u said..dont use it on me..im not ur enemy. we dont have to lecture each other about how are we going to deal with this settlement..but we are once "bestfriends"..and what im expecting from you is just an HONEST OK..lets just see where this relationship goes..and I will be more happy to hear from you. try and figure out the flow of our conversation..Even my team leaders said if were still arguing or something like that. Because jhack this is not a magazine you are writing..this is just me. I am no enemy here. I come just to make peace. I sure deserve to be treated good as well. Im not saying ur not treating me like one, but what im trying to make u understand is for you to just cool down and try to internalize your writings. People are hurting..well people who deserves it but for those who doesnt..I guess u must know when and where to stop.

hindi ako nakikipagaway sau ah! wla na yan sa isip ko..gusto ko lang maging maliwanag tau pareho.
sana lang tingnan mo na lang ako as ATE..un lang ok nko.

Jhack said...

im talking about these blogs:

You got issues?! (as posted in mysweetescapade.spaces.live.com)

you posted that entry after i posted this > Quoting BigSis (as posted in princesscoven.spaces.live.com/)

i know that that entry could be for someone else, but something in your post bothered me. when you say, "Well you''ll get this, "Stop being such an ass..No one here likes you and you're making it worse". Dang! that hit you like a glass splinter..yeah?!" i posted that at 5pm and your entry arrived at 6pm, the same day. i posted that entry because i found the words interesting and truthful, not to make "parinig" to you. i was alarmed by that post of yours because it's unusual to use the exact quote i posted, and to say that you don't read my entries, was just disturbing. i have never posted anything against you on my blog (Yes, I am talking about THE OTHER BLOG) so to say that I've got issues or am up to something is just alarming.

i said may we learn to assess things first before shouting a reply because i want things to be smooth. i want things to be clear, and to not blurt anything at each other just because we feel like someone is up to something. i don't see anything wrong with that, nor lecturing you about what you should and should not do with your life.

AL Chavez said...

Hahahahaiiii..Jhackie, that blog has nothing to do with you..However,I want to thank your blog cuz I got an idea for that one line..and yes i got that line from your blog. I got inspired actually..but that was not for you.. To be honest if u get to read all the blogs.. To be honest, I made that blog for the people here at work. The moment when I heard them sooo sooo INGAY and I cant do my work well, I abruptly open my space and write a blog. U sed it urself, if i want to blurt out something i shud blurt it all out by writing it on a blog.and thats what i did. And if u will pay attention to the lower part of my blog..Im talking about a certain guy. And the upper part belongs to some random girls I got pissed off becuz of too much noise.

And for the record, I didnt say I dont read ur blogs.. I read 'em..because its pretty brain stimualting. What Ive said was I dont even think of relating myself to any of your blogs..nor commented anything from it.

Ok,I also said something like someone is up for something..becoz thats what I can understand reading every comment all through out our conversations. Im not accusing you for anything..Im just saying a Maybe or a Somehow it might happen.

And even if u do write some parinig on your blogs..even if its intentionally or unintentionally for me..Dont worry, like I said, I didnt get affected with just that..or those..unless my full name is mentioned.,

Its okei to give opinions about life..I take that respectfully. Every opinion is greatly appreciated.

Jhack said...

see now that's what i'm talking about... sorry but that entry was misleading; with you taking that line from my post made it clear. i mean, don't get me wrong, it's fine with me if you wanna say that to someone else too (coz it's not mine, anyway), but to just inform me or forewarn me about it, would have been much better. this is what i'm trying to point out lau... and yes, you said you don't read my blog (read above comment), but that don't matter... it's ok if you read it or not. the entries are open for everyone's eyes to see that's why it's there; otherwise i would've closed it to private.

that's why i said may we learn to dig deep through things first before we answer coz that alone could ruin everything. it's called miscommunication, girl... just one, nasty miscommunication. are we clear now? i hope so.

AL Chavez said...

Apoligies accepted..

U shud drop me an email and ask. (=

Eniweys..itz alryt.. We are relieved!

Jhack said...

uhm, you should've forewarned me about it first.. but anyway... forget about it. another drama over! (=