Astral Plane.

Image Source: brettselby.com
Do you remember Johari's Window in Social Psychology? The technique that was created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham that speaks about understanding people better using 4 windows? In case you are not familiar with the exercise, Johari's Window goes like this: the first window talks about the part of yourself that is known to you AND the others. The second one is a part that is known to others but not to yourself, whereas the third speaks about the part of yourself that is known only to you but not to other people; the fourth, well, that's the part that is unknown to everyone including yourself. If you know me very well, then you'd know how reserve and quiet I am (trust me, it's been an issue about me ever since). Some may think that I'm just really shy (well, I am; a shy girl, that is), but some of you I'm sure, and though none of you would probably admit it in front of me, simply thinks I'm crazy and weird.

I enjoy silence. I love the conversation that goes on in my head whether I'm alone or not. I also love observing people. You see, just because I was a Comm Grad doesn't mean I have to be loud and talking all the time. I actually like to believe there are two types of Comm students - the speaker and the observer. As you can see, I belong to the latter.

Anyway, for those who are still wondering why I'm soooooooooooo quiet all the time, well, it actually depends on who I am with. For one, I become quiet to people I don't like so instead of saying anything that would probably hurt you I'll just shut my mouth and pretend that you don't exist. Second, I actually do enjoy your company. I just prefer to be silent because I'm amazed and is observing your conversation and am just waiting for the right moment to speak my mind. The third reason is that I'm currently in my own world fantasizing about whatever.

When Yahoo Messenger was still on its peak, I used to write "in the astral plane" as my status. Some may find it cryptic or just plain weird, but to me it made the perfect sense. The truth is that sometimes I wish I could just orb myself in another plane; a place where I don't have to deal with stupid people and all the BS that's been currently going on. My room is my sacred place, which is why I love hanging in here a lot. It's a place where I can feel the most secured; a place where I can think and work, as well as be my crazy self without worrying if anyone can see me or not. But there's still a difference between pretending you're somewhere else and actually being in a peaceful plane (NOT THE AFTER LIFE). Maybe that's why I love to sleep and dream all the time. I love my dreams, even when they're not always pleasant and they make me feel tired upon waking sometimes. I just wish I could go deeper into my dreams; understand more what they mean, or even have longer conversations with whomever I am with.

But of course I couldn't. Because no matter how much I wanted to stay in that little astral plane of mine, I know I have to wake up somehow and deal with whatever is going on... even if real life sucks so bad.

"Imitating may be the best form of flattery, but not the best form of writing."

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