In Memoriam.

Mommy and Me: Graduation Day, MCS 1998

Today marks the 10th year of my mom's passing. I can't believe it's been a decade since it happened. I still remember all the details bit by bit and until now, I still haven't moved on.

Some people thought that when you lose a loved one, things get better after ten years. The truth is, it doesn't and it probably never will be. Not a day goes by when I don't think about mom and really, the pain just doesn't go away. Often, I would wonder how things would have turned out if mom hadn't died. Will we be happier? Will we be richer? Will I be working in the same companies? Will she be proud of what I have achieved? Will I be closer to her or stay forever distant? Sometimes, I wonder what my mom will say to me if she was here, witnessing my every move. Will she kurot me in the singit for disobeying my dad? Or will she support me and encourage me to stand up and 'do the right thing?'

I remember her last few days here when we had 'the talk.' She told me, "Open yourself up to us because you'll be left alone if you didn't." Since the incident happen the summer prior to freshman high, I have been 'distant' with them. Although things were better now between me and my siblings, I don’t know if I could ever open my whole self up anymore. Trust is a precious commodity and once it's broken, it's pretty hard to get it back. Besides, how can you speak when no one's listening? People 'hear' you, yes, but the question is, are they listening?

I miss my mom every single day. And every waking day (and even in dreamland) of my life, I wish I could have one more minute with her... Just one minute. To hug her. To kiss her. To say sorry. And to let her know how much I miss and love her.

+Fresininda IbaƱez Telan
June 27, 1955 - January 16, 2003

"Imitating may be the best form of flattery, but not the best form of writing."

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