My Colorful Monochromatic Life: When Heartbreak was the hardest...

It's one thing to break up with your special someone, but it's even harder to breakup with a friend. Why does it hurt so much than losing a boyfriend or a girlfriend?... Because we rarely experience it, unlike that of a romantic relationship.

I've had fall outs with (best) friends before... fall outs that led to years of not communicating, changing cliques, and even bashing each other over the internet. It wasn't easy you know... knowing that that person probably knows where to hit you. But what hurts more was the fact that the FRIENDSHIP is over... or you think is over.

I'm not good at handling this thing. I hate having a fall out with a friend... especially if they're that important for me. It just hurts.

It all started when I found out that she is having an "affair" over the internet with someone she met over a Social Networking site. Don't get me wrong, I actually don't think there's anything wrong with that; it just pissed me off when our comments started to get deleted that led her to blocking us off even on her wall. I was like, what's up with you? So I started to recall everything that's happened in the past and made me think, Is it just us or does she really NOT care about our so-called "friendship?"

I keep assuring the others to give her a chance... because I know her. She's my baby and I want to be there for her. But these past few weeks, it just felt like I (we) wasn't a part of her life. So I take it on her. I took it on Facebook... on Twitter... anywhere I could relay my wrath to her but still, no word from her.

Then one day she sent me a private message saying how "sorry" she was for everything that happened. I actually believed that she could've finally come to her senses, but I was wrong. I tried to fight for (our friendship)... really, I did.

About a week or two prior to my birthday, I emailed everyone that I wanted to meet up a week after my birthday. Again, she said she's not sure because work caught up with her. Why is it that when it comes to "us," our 'date' always has to sacrifice? I got pissed... I got extremely pissed; not just because she is going to miss my birthday celebration, but it's been TWO years that she is going to miss my birthday celebration.

I know my taking it on Facebook is very childish, or bitchy, or whatever you wanna call it but, it just pains me. I tried everything to give her a chance to fix things... PM, Wall posts, blogs, texts (Yes, I did text you), but I NEVER got an answer... or an effort that she really meant what she said. I hate it when people say one thing and do another. It's just bullshit! So I decided to do exactly the same things she is doing to us - block her off my wall. I'm sorry, but YOU really did hurt me.

I don't wanna do this, but I'm already really tired of being the only one who cared about saving whatever is left of this relationship. I'm so sorry, but like I said, I can't wait for you forever. You hurt me too much already so bye... at least for now.